Lizzy doesn't live here anymore.

You can find her here. 

Yes, livejournal, I've crossed over to the dark side which I once loathed so much. I'm sorry to say this, but, I got lonely here! I know so many people whom use Tumblr and I've found some really neat blogs. 

Bye, LJ.

 But that's irrelevant to me.

Have a good senior year, everyone. Please. 

All I'm going to see on facebook for the next 24 hours are school-related posts. Maybe I should go back to sleep.

I shouldn't be so upset. This was my decision. I knew what was gonna happen. I knew that it was too hopeless to stay in school. Even if I did, it's not like I would have made it into my senior year by tomorrow anyways.

"I sing songs about the past. How I was raised, and I was thrown out on my ass because I didn't care about going to school."

I guess I'll be alright, though, because while all of my friends are in school, I will be trying to do something great with myself.

Christofer Drew is my hero because he dropped out of high school and smokes so much pot, yet he's becoming really successful. 
Lady Gaga is my hero because she realized she was smarter than her peers at NYU, so she dropped out and became really successful writing dance music.
The best artists do not need school.

I hope I have enough talent to live up to them and pull through. ...Whatever, I can always be a fucking journalist.

 I'm sorry I keep bringing it up. I haven't gotten over it, yet. I need closure. It's always in the back of my mind.

 I'm an acoustic indie folk singer ;]

I am so motivated to do this, you have no idea. I can't wait for open-mic nights in Amherst! 

You know, I was going to blog and rant about how all my friends are going back to school. My bandmate is going to Amherst, most of my friends are going to Massassoit, and then all of my peers are going into their Senior year... It made me feel like shit. I feel like I'm doing nothing with my life. The motivated and dedicated feeling of starting this project and getting it off the ground and making music, however, makes me feel less like a bum. 

All artists start off as bums anyways. I'm just destined to do great things.

 I really can't wait to tell you how I feel. I'm excited! This is probably the first time that I have ever been this optimistic about someone.

I need to be with you.

I wish you were online right now. I enjoy our conversations. I love your company.



I should not get my hopes up too high, though, should I?

 I long for love. Some amazing, good, unconditional love with someone I click with. A nice, smart, sarcastic, nerdy, artistic, musical emo boy would be nice. Or even an indie kid. Being cute would be a plus, too.

Emo needs to come back in style. I completely admit it. I fucking love emo boys.

 "Just like a dream....

She called me kinda late last night.
Said that she knew everything
and all those pretty little words came out.

And just like I planned,
she fell into my arms again,
and I could pretend that I would lie with her forever
and wait for the end.

You're right, you're right, we should be together.
Tonight, tonight, I could make it better
if I just gave up on my stupid little fantasy world.

You're right, you're right, that was a fake smile
and you're right, you're right,
I am in denial.
I should just go home to my perfect little fantasy girl.
You're my fantasy girl.

Just like I said...
she crept back up inside my bed.
Said that she missed everything
and all those words that made me fall came out.
Just like a trap, everything just fell right back
and we were on track. And I could lie with her all night now
and wait to react. "

When I first heard this song, I related to it as a cliche teenage girl would. I thought of myself on the other end of this situation. I know realize that I know exactly what's going on from the first person point of view. I have this ideal vision inside my head of the perfect boy... However, I need to let that go and figure out who I realistically want. Maybe then, I wouldn't be so lonely.

I wish boys could live up to my expectations :|

 I've been sleeping more often, but I think it's only because I'm depressed.

I never have happy posts anymore. I'm rarely ever that happy.

 I hate losing ties with all of my old friends. I still care about them so much. I wish we could be as close as we were before.

It's not even like I've lost them as a friend. Things just aren't the same anymore. Not at all.

 I'm a loser. I didn't finish high school. I gave up. I didn't try. I never tried, even when I said I was going to. All of my friends are going back to school soon. They're all seniors now. I could've been one of those... I'm not even going to college this semester. Hell, I don't even want to go to college to be completely honest. I don't know why. I just don't think it will be good for me. I feel like it will be a waste of my time, like high school. But, I'm still a loser for not going to school.

The worst part is, everyone agrees with this on some level. I'm still looking for something which I can find comfort in.